BEYOND FORGETFULNESS 3: NURTURING CARE, INSPIRING HOPE, AND BUILDING THE POWER OF COMMUNITY

BEYOND FORGETFULNESS 3: NURTURING CARE, INSPIRING HOPE, AND BUILDING THE POWER OF COMMUNITY

In the past two weeks, we have taken a closer look at the realities of dementia. Our first discussion focused on clearing up common misunderstandings. Many people think dementia is just forgetfulness or a normal part of aging. However, it is far more complex than simply losing track of items like keys, it involves losing the very knowledge of what those items are for. Dementia is a brain condition that extends beyond typical age-related memory loss. While getting older increases the likelihood, it does not mean every older person will develop dementia. In fact, many remain mentally sharp and independent well into advanced age. We also examined the major risk factors, such as lifestyle habits, cardiovascular health, and certain genetic influences like the APOE gene.

In our second piece, we went deeper into the brain science behind dementia. We explored how harmful protein build-ups amyloid plaques and tau tangles disrupt communication between brain cells, eventually causing them to die. These brain changes unfold slowly but have life-changing consequences, explaining why memory, reasoning, speech, and even personality can gradually be affected. We also discussed how dementia is diagnosed, the different stages it passes through, and why symptoms often begin subtly before eventually interfering with everyday independence.

Following our last discussion, a woman reached out to share her personal experience. She explained that her mother had lived through a traumatic event and, afterward, could no longer recognize some friends and distant relatives. Yet, interestingly, her mother still recognized her children and was able to manage her daily activities without much difficulty. Her question was simple: “Could this be dementia?”

The answer was no. Dementia does not work in a selective way. In situations involving trauma, the brain sometimes “blocks” certain memories as a survival mechanism. This type of memory loss is functional — like a software glitch. The memories are still stored, but the brain temporarily restricts access to them. With the right support, including psychotherapy and other interventions, recovery is often possible.

Dementia, on the other hand, is structural — more like a hardware problem. The brain cells and the regions that control memory, reasoning, and daily function become physically damaged. Once that information is lost, it cannot be recovered. In the case of this woman’s mother, the memory loss was trauma-related, not dementia. Still, I encouraged her to consult a qualified mental health professional for proper evaluation and diagnosis. Understanding this difference is crucial.

And now, we move into perhaps the most important part of this conversation: what genuine care and support mean for people living with dementia and their families. Beyond the science and statistics, we are talking about real lives — parents, siblings, friends, and loved ones whose worlds are profoundly changed by this condition.

Caring for someone with dementia goes far beyond addressing memory problems. At its core, it is about protecting dignity, preserving identity, and honoring humanity for as long as possible.

The first pillar of care is patience. Imagine living in a world where familiar faces, names, and places suddenly feel unfamiliar and confusing. That uncertainty often brings fear, frustration, or even withdrawal. In such moments, the caregiver’s approach makes a great difference. A calm tone of voice, slower speech, and a reassuring presence can bring comfort far more effectively than repeated corrections or arguments.

Practical strategies make a significant difference in dementia care. Simple steps such as labeling rooms in the house, keeping familiar objects visible, maintaining consistent daily routines, and reducing unnecessary noise or clutter can ease confusion and create a sense of stability. Activities that trigger recognition, like browsing through old photo albums or listening to cherished songs, often bring comfort and moments of clarity. Research has shown that music, in particular, has a powerful ability to reach areas of the brain that dementia does not fully erase. A favorite hymn, a lively Afrobeat track, or a traditional folk tune can awaken joy, stir long-buried memories, and foster connection even when words are hard to find.

Beyond these practical steps, emotional presence is equally important. While it may be easy to dwell on what has been lost, caregivers are encouraged to focus on what remains. A smile, gentle touch, shared laughter, or simply sitting in quiet companionship can communicate more than spoken words. Families should also remember that caregiving is not a journey to be walked alone. Support groups, counseling, and shared responsibilities among siblings or relatives can help protect caregivers from burnout, which is a common risk in dementia care. In Nigeria, this responsibility often falls heavily on women, particularly daughters or daughters-in-law. Acknowledging this burden and creating systems of shared support, whether through churches, neighborhood networks, or trained community health workers can turn exhaustion into resilience.

There is also room for hope. While a cure does not yet exist, early detection and timely interventions can slow the progression of symptoms and improve quality of life. Certain medications may offer relief, while lifestyle choices such as eating more fruits and vegetables, reducing processed foods, engaging in regular exercise, staying socially connected, and stimulating the mind all contribute positively. Therapies like reminiscence therapy, cognitive stimulation, and music therapy are increasingly recognized as effective tools in supporting those living with dementia. Even in the midst of decline, moments of joy, clarity, and connection remain possible.

Dementia care cannot rest on the shoulders of families alone. Communities and societies also carry a responsibility. In many parts of Nigeria, dementia remains clouded by stigma. Families sometimes hide loved ones, believing symptoms are linked to witchcraft, curses, or spiritual punishment. These misconceptions deny individuals the support and compassion they deserve. It is time to shift the narrative. Dementia is a medical condition, not a curse. Faith communities have an important role to play—churches and mosques can speak openly and guide members with empathy. Market women who notice a familiar customer growing forgetful can respond with kindness instead of ridicule. Employers and professional associations, too, can create dementia-friendly environments for their aging members. Compassion must replace judgment.

As World Alzheimer’s Month comes to an end, the conversation must not stop here. Awareness is the first act of support. The more we talk, learn, and show understanding, the less room there is for stigma. Supporting caregivers eases their heavy burden, while investment in research and new approaches builds hope for tomorrow.

Dementia may steal memories, but it cannot erase humanity. At its core, care is an expression of love—love that remains present even when words are gone. The journey continues, and together we can work toward a world where no one faces dementia in isolation.

Healthilluminationfoundation@gmail.com

September 29, 2025